LISBON OVERVIEW — THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

Lisbon is Ancient. It’s actually four centuries older than Rome. Standing at 3,000 years old, it’s one of the oldest capitals in Europe. Over the course of millennia, it was shaken and stirred by the Celts, Moors, Phoenicians, Greeks, and Romans.

Portugal’s history is like a high-stakes adventure novel where the main character keeps surviving despite everyone’s best efforts to take him out. From exhumed queens to kings who lasted only 20 minutes, it is a wild ride through one of Europe’s oldest nation-states.

Portugal officially became a kingdom in 1143. Its first king, Afonso Henriques, essentially founded the country by defeating his mother’s army and securing independence.

Crown Prince Luís Filipe holds the record for the world’s shortest reign. After an assassination attack in 1908, he technically became king for about 20 minutes before he also succumbed to his wounds.

In the 15th century, the Portuguese decided that the “edge of the world” was just a suggestion, and they became Global Influencers. They were the first Europeans to reach Japan, introducing them to tempura.

In 1494, Portugal and Spain signed the Treaty of Tordesillas, which essentially split the “New World” in half like a pizza. Portugal got the eastern half, which explains why Brazilians speak Portuguese today.

Portugal remained neutral during World War II primarily due to the conniving dictator António de Oliveira Salazar’s strategic policies, which prioritized protecting the colonial empire, avoiding the draining of the nation’s fragile economy, and allowing Portugal to act as a crucial, profitable diplomatic “neutral ground”.  Lisbon was the world’s spy capital during the war.

The Flower Power Revolution is still a major source of pride.  In 1974, a nearly bloodless military coup, the Carnation Revolution, ended decades of dictatorship. Legend has it that citizens placed carnations in the muzzles of soldiers’ guns, turning a coup into a national celebration.

                                                                         Fun Facts

Coffee is Life. Don’t expect to rush. The Portuguese take their coffee breaks seriously, usually opting for a tiny, powerful espresso called a bica.

Portugal suffers from Cod Overload. There are famously 365 ways to cook bacalhau (salted cod)—one for every day of the year.

The Portuguese are voracious readers. There are bookstores large and small throughout Lisbon. The oldest bookstore in town is Livraria Bertrand, which has been open since 1732.

There are 11 million people in Portugal, with 3 million living in the Lisbon metro area and another 2 million in the greater Porto environs.  So, almost half the population lives in the two cities along the Atlantic coast, and the rest of the country is rural and rather poor.

People from Lisbon are officially called Lisboetas, but are affectionately known as Alfacinhas (little lettuces). The term Alfacinha is widely used, despite its unclear origin, which may stem from historical abundance or consumption of lettuce.

The Portuguese are extremely friendly and accommodating people.  Whatever you ask for, they happily provide.  When a local fellow who was smoking at a nearby outdoor table realized we didn’t like it, he apologized and immediately extinguished his cigarette.

All the young people speak perfect English because they start teaching kids at age 8. The movies are in English with Portuguese subtitles. And if a business has a TV on, it’s broadcasting either football or CNN News, or both. We never saw any Fox News.

Portuguese is a most pleasant-sounding language. The words often end with a lazy tongue shizh sound.  It’s like listening to soft jazz music.  I started calling the country Sade.

It seems like about half the people in Lisbon are dark-skinned, and many are African.

Arab influences are everywhere, from the architecture to the loose-fitting, light-colored clothes worn by men and women alike. Every place name that begins with AL was originally named by the Moors.

Tourism is the #1 industry, and that’s a tenuous existence these days. But they have no choice because they don’t have abundant natural resources, they aren’t heavily into manufacturing, and they don’t want to do anything that gets in the way of watching football.  In Lisbon, almost every business is a restaurant or souvenir shop.  I can’t imagine what COVID must have done to their economy.

Lisbon is quite flat in the downtown area by the river, and then it rises straight up.  It’s an incredibly steep city with narrow winding streets. The inhabitants are essentially cliff-dwelling critters, like happy bats.

They really like ham. There are these amazing sandwich shops with big pig legs mounted on stands, where they carve thin slices with long, curved blades and put them on different types of tasty bread or on small plates with yummy cheese and olives.  Ham, Portuguese red wine, and Super Bok beer fuel the country.

Portugal has no oil, coal, or natural gas, so they have already achieved 85% renewable energy.

The most annoying thing about Lisbon was being constantly harassed by people trying to sell us something or entice us into eating at their restaurant.  They were gracious and friendly, and never hostile or aggressive, but imagine walking down a street past, let’s say, ten eateries, and someone will be standing there in front of every establishment with a menu in his hand, promising you that the greatest meal you have ever eaten is yours for the taking.  It was enough to drive us crazy.

The most lasting impression we had after the first few days was that Portugal’s climate is Goldilocks perfect.  Not too hot.  Not too cold.  It’s just right.  I think that’s why the people are so chill and seemingly content.