CATHOLIC LAND

My two old friends Jimmy & Eric joined me for a religious pilgrimage of sorts, especially given the fact that Jimmy and I are raving heretics and Eric is a Catholic who dances to his own beat.

We waited for the morning rush hour into Washington to end before heading down to Northeast D.C. for a journey through a Christian kaleidoscope.

Our first stop was the National Basilica, the largest Catholic Church in America. The place was virtually empty and we roamed the bright light, white marble interior for over an hour, exploring the trippy side chapels and eye-popping, shiny-tile, ceiling murals. I especially liked the multi-colored marble columns. Before leaving, Eric bought a controversial book entitled “Rethinking Mary” in the expansive book shop and then we were off to our next destination, Catholic University, which sits right next to the Basilica.

Catholic University has a few grey stone granite buildings that would be home in jolly old England, but for the most part, it’s just bland brick and lego block buildings. And curiously, there were almost no students to be seen, even on a sunny 60-degree day.

We had lunch in the renovated urban renewal stretch of Monroe Street that was done in that popular modern architectural style I call “fancy facade”. We grabbed some tasty sandwiches at a Potbelly and sat outside in the warm sun.

After lunch, we walked east on Michigan Avenue, over the railroad and Metro tracks, and into the cozy, mixed middle class neighborhood of Brookland.

Our final destination was one of my favorite attractions in our nation’s capital, the Franciscan Monastery of the Holy Land in America, where they have recreated some of the most sacred pilgrimage sites in the Middle East. It’s essentially a religious amusement park for those who want to see some of the Bible’s holiest shrines without leaving America. It’s wacky as hell without being cheesy in any way.

The Mount Saint Sepulcher Church was erected by Father Godfrey Schilling in 1898, and is laid out in the shape of a Jerusalem cross, consisting of one large cross in the middle and four smaller crosses at each corner, signifying the five wounds of Christ on the cross.

Inside the Main Church, visitors will find facsimiles of the Tomb of Jesus, the Stone of Anointing, the Altar of Tabor (Transfiguration Alter), the St. Francis Chapel, the Alter of the Holy Spirit, the three dimensional Calvary-Golgotha mural, and the Holy Spirit Chapel, all meant to transport you back to the golden age of Christ.

And there’s a truly surreal garden of delight in a deep wooded ravine just outside the church where we found the larger sacred replicas: the Grotto of Gethsemane, a Jewish tomb, the Tomb of the Virgin Mary fashioned after the one erected by the Crusaders in the 12th century, the Lourdes Grotto, the Stations of the Cross, St. Francis and the Wolf, and the Ascension Chapel on the Mount of Olives where Christ rose into Heaven forty days after his resurrection.

Just give me that old time religion!