Japan is dying! And they need more babies fast.
Japan has the oldest population on earth, along with one of the lowest fertility rates. And they do not, for all intents and purposes, allow any immigration. That’s why they are so heavily into robotics. But they desperately need to replenish the Japanese family.
According to a Wall Street Journal story from 2010, “Japan’s new leaders propose offering new parents monthly payments totaling about $3,300 a year for every new child until the age of 15. Other initiatives include more state-supported day care, tuition waivers and other efforts designed to make parenthood more appealing.”
And guess what? The economic incentives are working. When Inna and I visited Japan in 2018, there were babies galore being pushed around in behemoth strollers. It was like Baby World in every major city we visited.
I’m not a baby person — never had one , never wanted one. Kids like me, because I don’t patronize them and I don’t talk to them with that annoying sing-song voice that most adults use when addressing small children. But I can never get that old W.C. Fields line completely out of my head, “I love children … if they’re properly cooked.” (Just kidding)
But the point is, I’m not a sucker for a pretty little face. In fact, I have always tended to just ignore small children. But that didn’t work in Japan because they are so incredibly cute. They are round and always smiling, giggling, waving, and squeaking. And they really do resemble tiny colorful dolls come alive.
Sumida Park was just up the street from our hotel in Tokyo and I would sit there watching the kids and their parents stroll by for hours on end. It was the best TV show EVER!
I brought back so many fond and poignant memories of the children I saw in Japan.
Like the mothers riding their snazzy bikes with their little smiling munckins strapped in tightly, laughing with glee as the world sailed by. Even in the rain!
And then there was the naked young boy being tenderly bathed at the public onsen (hot spring) at Miho no Beach.
And the little ones dressed up in their flowery kimonos, stumbling around like bobble-head dolls.
And the incredibly sad shrines with the death heads wrapped in red scarves, symbolizing lost children.
But the bottom line is that in Japan, Kids Rule! Parents dote on their children as if they are little gods. And the children are, as a general rule, quiet and very well behaved. We rarely encountered a screaming child, and when we did, it didn’t last long. One stern scowl from their parent was enough to immediately shut them up. There was no smacking or raised voices. And whiny, petulant kids throwing a hissy fit on the street or in a store were non-existent. Japanese parents would not tolerate such unruly behavior because it would reflect badly on the whole family.
My favorite sight was the elementary students being led around the streets in packs, with cute day packs on their backs and sporting brightly-colored hats — each group dons the same color bonnet. They walked in pairs, holding hands. And the really little ones were tethered together on a long line, with the teacher walking backward and leading them along like little puppies.
I think it’s great that the Japanese are passionately producing the next generation so they can continue as a vibrant nation and culture. They have so much to offer the world. But even more importantly, I am in awe of the way the Japanese manage to raise their kids with such tender affection while establishing clear limits of behavior and a true love of beauty and joy. They ingrain in their kids the need to be respectful, obedient, and happy. I think that is ultimately the key to the making of a truly great society.
The people running the show today in most places on earth are pretty hopeless. And it is unlikely they will change. So, the question is: Will their children? We all love to talk about our dreams for the next generation, but if we raise our kids to be like us, little Napoleons who just live to accumulate more and more stuff while stepping on the weak, what hope is their for the planet?
Consequently, I offer this modest proposal: Appoint a team of behavioral experts to study how the Japanese raise their children and then implement that approach as a mandatory law for all parents in every country. If we do that, we’ll all be just fine.
