MILAN – BIRD’S EYE VIEWS

DAY 9

Our last day in Milan was going to be a structured affair consisting of two long tours: one to the Duomo Cathedral (including the walkways atop the roof) and the other to the world famous Teatro alla Scala Opera House.

We met Pivey, our friendly guide, at the Camparino Cafe in the always bustling Galleria Victor Emmanuel shopping mall extravaganza for a small group tour of the Duomo and La Scala. It was all one big prepaid package of fun and excitement.

                  Duomo

The cathedral had the most intense metal detector security I have ever seen. It took me five back-and-forth minutes to get through and when they found my vape kit they gave it the once over. And then the head guard filled his own vape pen from my bottle of strawberry-flavored nicotine, giving me a little wink and acting like he was doing me a big favor. I’m not sure what any of this crap had to do with security.

I will not bore you with a bunch of meaningless drivel about the church, other than a few salient fun facts.

The Milanese began erecting this towering white marble Gothic church in Medieval times and it took 600 years to complete. Try and imagine such a commitment of time and resources. In the world we live in today, a decade-long building project with mega-cranes and the latest equipment, like Jerry Jones’ football stadium down in Texas where the Boys play, or the Twin Towers in New York, are considered monumental. We are soft in comparison to the Medieval people of Milan.

Over the years they have had to replace individual blocks of marble.  They always try to match the pieces as best they can but we could easily spot the difference between the old and new because the old ones are stained darker from air pollution.

Most Italian churches have small pillars, and thus, weak walls. And that’s why they usually have frescoes rather than stained glass, but the Duomo has fifty huge pillars, making the outer walls very strong and able to support gigantic stained glass windows. The windows in the Duomo are some of the finest in the world.

I saw something in the Duomo I had never seen before. There were three gargantuan stained glass windows that were meant to be read like cartoon panels, from the bottom and left to right, and they tell biblical stories and even a little history. Perhaps this was the genesis of comic books. Our guide thought that might be true but didn’t know.

There are 55 colossal windows in the church and they date from the 15th Century to the latest one that was installed in 1981.  Each represents a completely different style. It’s like a chronicle of stained glass through the ages.

The red dye used in the stained glass windows was the same used in Campari, the sweet liquer the Milanese love to drink at all occasions.

There are 3,400 statues on the church. Some, like the golden Archangel Michael at the top of the church, are truly magnificent.

The thing I found most amusing about the Duomo, one of the most ancient and sacred structures on earth, was the fact that they hung a large video screen off the cathedral’s side wall, showing a slickly-produced advertisement for Samsung phones. It played day and night and apparently did not detract from the historic essence of the cathedral — it certainly didn’t for me, at least. In fact, I thought it was kind of cool, in a weird way. Inna and I have seen the same sort of crass commercialization of important cultural resources in many countries like Spain, Scotland, and Belgium. My hometown of Annapolis, on the other hand, spent years debating whether to allow sidewalk cafes for fear of ruining the rich colonial spirit a city barely 300 years old. I think Americans, being relative newcomers on the block historically speaking, believe their history is richer and more important than it really is. Like country bumpkins, they think their home is uniquely special and pretty much better than anyplace else on earth. Travel will break you of that parochial illusion.

I took a shortcut to La Scala after the Duomo tour because I was tired of dealing with hordes of people and Pivey led our little group through the center of the insanely crowded Galleria Victor Emmanuel. And while we were temporarily separated, Inna ran into her old Russian friends Lela and Sasha from Vancouver. We had no idea they were there. It is indeed a very small world!

La Scala

The New Empire style fortress-looking opera house was built in 1776, on the site of the Santa Maria Scala church and is named after Scalergi family.

A ticket for La Scala is still the hottest ticket in town. Their schedule includes the old masterpieces like “Rigoletto”, ballets like “Romeo & Juliet”, and Beethoven symphonies conducted by grand masters like Riccardo Chailly. There’s a really big show every night and tickets will run you from $100 (cheap seat) to $400 (box).

Back in the day, the rich families of Milan owned their own boxes which they decorated lavishly, but there were no seats in the theater for the average folk who came early and played cards, socialized, and partied it up. The great unwashed simply sat on the floor the whole time. To better understand the importance of owning a seat at La Scala, consider this: box owners also got a burial plot in the city’s grandest cemetery and special seats in the front of the Duomo Cathedral on Sundays.

Verdi rules at La Scala.  He went to school at their conservatory and studied piano.  They told him he wasn’t good enough and he dropped out. But he tried again a few years later and now the conservatory is named after him. I love “don’t take no for an answer” stories like that.

We could only get into the museum because the theater was closed until two for some special and previously unannounced event. So, our guide said, “That’s all folks!” and simply cut us loose. I think she just wanted to go home and dry off. Being a tour guide myself, I always tip, but I had a really hard time forking over a couple of Euros for this one. And I’m not going to give the name of the tour company because I don’t want to seem mean spirited and I’m guessing they all suck.

Basically, we paid 90€ per person for our small group tour and we were totally gouged.  And the other tours around us looked equally pathetic. As usual, the English speaking guides spoke pigeon English at best. Ours spoke so softly that we couldn’t hear her most of the time and when we could, we couldn’t understand her.  We essentially paid to get up on the roof of the Duomo before the crowds, and the rooftop tickets were probably sold out well in advance; we skipped the line for the inside of the Duomo; and we got into La Scala which is always sold out but was temporarily closed when we were there, forcing us to come back later on our own.  

We ate lunch in a terrible joint in the Theater District near La Scala where they forgot to bring me my food.  So, I ate some of Inna’s and then we wandered over to the Castle and then back to the hotel where, with the help of Christina the hotel clerk, we figured out the best way to catch the train the next day to Lake Como.

Around two, we went back to La Scala to see the theater which was a huge letdown.  It was shabby, they gave us only about a minute to view the stage from one of the rear balcony boxes as the stage was being set up for the evening performance, and it smelled musty like 1930.

We headed for the canal in a light drizzle, passing some very cool churches and buildings, including a church with human-size sculptures adorned with black raven wings atop the white marble front door. Ravens, one of my favorite birds, are normally associated with darkness and evil, and to see black-winged angels perched prominently upon a Catholic church was mind blowing. I’m guessing the Romans or the weirdly-cool Medici had something to do with it.

At this point in the hike it was raining pretty hard and Inna was not happy.  She didn’t care about cruising through the old port. So she eventually caught a cab back to the Leonardo Da Vinci Museum and I continued walking around several of the placid canals.  

The port area is known as Darsena. It’s essentially a small lake where you will also find the city’s last two remaining canals, Naviglio Grande and Naviglio Pavese. Back in the 17th century, this part of Milan was a major port and transportation hub, and the canal system went all the way north to Lago Maggiore. These days the torpid brown lake is surrounded by snazzy apartment buildings, small shops, and trendy eateries.

The rain stopped temporarily and the sun came out. This was the only time I saw the sun in Milan. And I was mesmerized by this lovely hip part of Milan with its eccentric mix of stores and cafes, offering ethnic foods from around the world. There was no place in Milan quite like it. But for some reason — perhaps the rain — the place was virtually a ghost zone.

After roaming the canal district for about an hour I walked the narrow side streets back to the Duomo, passing through some very interesting neighborhoods of attractive apartments with geranium balconies and little pocket parks interspersed with lovely churches large and small.

I met Inna at the Galleria Víctor Emmanuel and ate a romantic dinner at an outdoor restaurant called I’ll Salotta with some devout Christians from Cincinnati at the adjoining table who had a twisted view of Trump’s America.  They voted for the Trumpster but thought his policies and behavior were reprehensible. Their single big issue, of course, was abortion and they worshiped the fact that he was filling the Supreme Court with anti-abortion judges. The older fellow who was some sort of deacon in his Pentecostal church said, “God often uses evil people to promote good deeds.” Well, there you go, the Lord is just clever trickster who likes to keep us all on our toes.

We were serenaded throughout our meal by a lovely blond playing a grand piano. She knew the full repertoire of Frank Sinatra and classic American show tunes, and her tinkling notes echoed off the the blue-glass dome of the Galleria like bird songs.

As we were dining in our romantic little Italian restaurant I noticed a young woman eating alone, sipping a glass of white wine and playing with her cellphone. And it struck me that there is nothing lonelier and sad than a young single woman dining alone in Italy.

As I mentioned in previous posts, I am fascinated by the music people listen to when I travel and I found it endlessly amusing that EVERY street musician played or sang the Leonard Cohen song ”Hallelujah”. It is easily the grand prize winner for the most popular song in Italy. I heard it played by lone musicians and ensembles, on guitars, cellos, portable pianos, accordions, violins, saxophones, clarinets, and often sung without accompaniment. Don’t ask me why.

Wherever we went in Milan (and Rome and Florence) it was very disconcerting to always see soldiers on guard. There were pairs of heavily armed soldiers in full body armor and cradling their machine guns at all of the key attractions and patrolling the streets everywhere we went. There are monster jeeps and APC’s parked in front of sacred churches and government buildings.  Basically, the big cities of Italy are is in a constant state of alert. But given the hordes of people and the diversity of the crowds, it would appear to be a hopeless cause. They can react to, but not prevent, a terrorist act.

Walked 11 miles

Insider Tip — Properties in the central core, old city section of Milan are actually a bit more expensive than in Rome.  A 2,000 sf apartment comparable to something on the Upper West Side of Manhattan will run you about a million dollars.

Insider Tip — Many of the restaurants along the canals in the Darsena district (canal) of Milan offer Happy Hour specials like a drink and all you can eat buffet for 11€. A really swell deal!

Insider Tip — Unlike Rome where there are markets on almost every street, Milan’s markets are few and far between, making it difficult to buy fresh fruit and other food and drink items you might like to take back to your hotel room. One of the first things we did when arriving in a town was locate the nearest market and then load up for our stay. This will save you considerable money during your visit and it’s nice to have fresh local fruit to enjoy at your leisure. But in Milan, you will have to work to find a nice market because they tend to be outside the city center and on back streets.

Insider Tip — Weed is legal in Italy. Well, not really. It’s CDB pot, meaning it has no THC. CBD oils and all sorts or miracle cures are starting to be sold in American drugstores without a prescription. It’s essentially produces a relaxing body rush without any psychotropic effects. So, you don’t get high; you just get mellow. But the stores look like something straight out of Amsterdam (The store pictured below actually called itself that!) and the salespeople act like they are selling you the “good shit”. It looks and smells like skunk weed, but it aint.